Ready for Some Good News?

I sure am, and so for a few days I'm gong to avoid the Internet and cable news - I've had enough of the negatives, especially the never-ending political blather spewed forth 24 hours a day. I'm more than ready to turn away from the negatives and concentrate on the positives: our four grandchildren, good health, and the upcoming holidays.

And all the while I will thank God for our blessings of family, friends, and the freedoms we should never take for granted, because the world it is a changing. 

Over the last few weeks I have witnessed the best of the fall season with amazing colors, bright blue skies, and warm temperatures. Most days have been picture-perfect. 

So my advice is to look around you and rather than focusing on the endless news cycles, pop in seasonal DVDs, make some popcorn, and hug your family.

Skeletons in the Closet

October brings a dramatic change in the weather; the air chills, trees begin their shift from soft and vibrant greens to yellows, brown, red, and orange, and the sun sets earlier. As an adult I miss the nice warm days, but as a child I was more excited that Halloween was just around the corner. In keeping with the spirit of Halloween, this year I received some information about a deceased relative, news that surprised and saddened me: a true skeleton in the closet.

My mother's cousin is our family historian and genealogy expert. I am the writer of our group and often use her findings for short stories or character types. However, with her recently discovered facts, I'm not sure how, when, or where to use it. Growing up I idolized this person and admired him for his strength, skill at overcoming adversities, and for his myriad accomplishments. I still do, but realize he was only human and made some serious errors in judgement, not earth shattering ones, but mistakes all the same.

On the tenth anniversary of my mother's death, I wrote a short story about the days immediately following her passing. It was cathartic, and helped me to understand Mother, myself, and our fractured relationship. In the story, I revealed our family tree included a Salem, Massachusettes' witch who was hanged during the trials. Her inclusion was appropriate and enhanced the mood of the scene by adding punch to the subject of death. I do believe in the unusual, the supernatural, the unexplained, the things that make your skin crawl and the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.

So I will include some of our family's flawed characteristics and a sampling of their unexplainable actions in future short stories. Truth is stranger than fiction.

Stay tuned... 

Update: I did include some of the above subjects in my novel, Between Heartbeats, which was released in August 2015

Ship in a Bottle

The first time I saw a sailing ship sitting in a small glass bottle, I was a child. I couldn't believe my eyes and asked my father to explain it. To the best of his ability, he explained how this feat was done, and I was awed by it. I still am.

Writing is something like building a ship in a bottle; the writer constructs an idea which is transformed into words, sentences, and paragraphs to form a story, poem, or a book. Certain confines and accepted parameters should be followed in order to create a cohesive, readable piece that not only entertains, but instructs the reader as well.

Thinking about a delicate, intricately constructed ship sitting within a solid glass container reminds me of my book, which was carefully crafted, strung together with my heart and soul, and endless hours of creating and editing. When it was finally inserted between the covers of a book, my "ship" was complete and ready to launch.

My first book was purely a practice piece and I kept it in the family. Then, I switched to poems and short stories and found I loved the challenge of getting to the point in as few words as possible. My second book, Through the Tunnel of Love, A Mother's and Daughter's Journey with Anorexia published in April of 2011, was born from a labor of love. And now I can say I am a novelist. My Booktrope novel, Between Heartbeats, was published August 28, 2015. It is the story of a young girl's coming of age.

Think about creating your own ship in a bottle, in whatever form you choose. I assure you that it will be one of the most worthwhile and rewarding things you can do in life.

Labor Day, Back to School, New Beginnings

My favorite time of year is here. Even though Labor Day isn't the first day of fall, it feels like it to me. The nighttime temp got down to 45 degrees and the daytime temps will be in the low eighties. For our area, that's just about perfect.

It's time to plant winter pansies, green and burgundy colored kale, yellow mums, and to trim the dried rose blooms off; they are just about done for the year.

It's been a hectic summer here at home and my writers' critique group took a hiatus; thus, my writing projects suffered. Although I did enter four literary contests this season. Results of three are to come in October. When I write to specifications and deadlines, I turn out my best work.

I have had my new computer only two days and already I am at it more, updating my blogs, checking in on others', and I've even cleaned out my office. Fall does that to me. It reminds me of the "Back to School" feeling when I was a youngster: new clothes, new books, new teachers, and the promise of an exciting year.

Happy Labor Day, one and all. Check in on my blogs. I promise to update them more often. To read about my memoir, Through the Tunnel of Love, A Mother's and Daughter's Journey With Anorexia, as well as some of my short stories, poems, and essays go to:  www.authorsden.com/donelleknudsen

Inspiration Comes From Unexpected Places

To my thinking, writers connecting with writers, either online or face-to-face, is imperative. Writers take on a lonely business, armed only with a pen and blank sheet of paper, or computer screen, and our imaginations. The wonderful thing is that these elements, combined with research and the desire to create, can take us as far as our minds and stamina are able.

So far this year I have attended one writers conference where I gained information and inspiration and submitted five entries to writing contests; however, my critique group is on hiatus, so my impetus to create something new every week has stalled. Add vacations, family time, and a recent surgery, and the result: my weeks have been chopped up into fragments with precious little to show.

One thing I always make time for is reading, and writing ideas down as they come, often at the oddest times. The most recent quote I wrote down is by Frodo Baggins from one of Peter Jackson's films in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkien:  "He didn't mean for a lot of things to happen, Sam, but it did." Context: Frodo is speaking to his comrade, Sam, after Gandalf's untimely death in the underground caves. Their future looks bleak, because the leader of the Fellowship of the Ring has seemingly perished, and their grief is so deep that they fear the worst: utter defeat.

Frodo's observation gave me the inspiration to bring out a writing project I had been working on for six months, but put aside because it had become too difficult, too painful to continue. It was inspired by a true life situation that has caused our family much pain and stress over the last year. But from experience, I have learned that those are the best kinds of projects to tackle, because challenges, the hard things in life, are what make us stronger, teach us valuable lessons, and result in inspired writing.

So, thank you, Frodo, for reminding me that life isn't always easy, and to remember that I should never give up and to not admit defeat, no matter how daunting the task that lies ahead.

Writing From Your Heart

When faced with every new writing project, I pray that the words will flow cleanly and that when they reach their final destination and pool in the reservoir of a completed work, the reader will take the time to plunge in.

With my memoir, Through the Tunnel of Love, a Mother's and Daughter's Journey with Anorexia, the initial paragraph, which became part of the prologue, came to me unexpectedly: “Nicole had lost her will to live; she was dying. Our beautiful fifteen year old daughter was killing herself slowly with each passing day. I knew it was calculated and I was unable to change the course of our lives. For the past year our family had been living in a nightmare and I wanted to wake up – NOW.”

The power of our story overwhelmed me at first, but I had to get it down. I wrote a great deal of it in long hand and then transcribed to the computer, editing as I went along.  Tunnel was written over a period of six years. As memories flooded back, some so agonizing that I wrote with tears streaming down my face, I knew I had to finish it; I had to see it through. Parts of the book were derived from my journals and several chapters came directly from my short stories. The bulk of it came from my heart.

The more I wrote, the faster the memories surfaced, especially the painful ones; the ones I thought had been long buried and forgotten. Over the course of the first year, I realized that my raw wounds needed to rise to the surface, in order to begin the healing process. Then I prayed that upon completion of the book, my family could also benefit from my labor of love.

In 2004 I entered the opening chapters of the first draft of Through the Tunnel of Love in Pacific Northwest Writers Association’s literary contest in the memoir category. It was the first writing contest I had entered and to my surprise, I was named a finalist. I attended the July conference with a fluttering heart and stomach. That honor offered me contacts and the necessary confidence to edit, revise, and complete my memoir. The following six years brought me three more honors from PNWA’s literary contest in the memoir category. Eventually two of my winning short stories were included in Through the Tunnel of Love.

I had asked for and was given permission by our daughter to tell our story because I believed that it was an important topic and that our experience could help others in similar circumstances. I wanted them to know what had worked for us and what didn’t, and hoped our story would help them, and above all, to realize they were not alone.

I pitched my book and sent queries to the well-known publishing houses and literary agents; but as encouraging as they were, they said my memoir just didn't fit their criteria at that time. My folder filled with rejection letters, but I was not deterred. In the fall of 2010, I participated as a panelist and a reader in Rivers of Ink writer's workshop in Richland, WA. Through this venue, I was encouraged by panelists and audience members to publish my work. I listened, decided it was time, and looked for a small local press. Over the next three months the editor and I worked together. By January, Through the Tunnel of Love was launched on its journey and was published in April of 2011.

To this day, my daughter has read only the prologue. For Nicole, the reality of her illness at that critical stage was more than she could process. She said she wasn’t ready to relive it and confessed that the worst years, 1997 to 1999, were completely lost to her. Even though Nicole has not read her story, our story, she is my strongest proponent and cheerleader. She realizes how much we loved her and that we didn’t give up, not for a minute.

I have learned many lessons from writing Through the Tunnel of Love. The most valuable ones are: listen to your heart, follow your dream, and if it is to write, then do it. Don’t wait and don’t listen to your twisted muse when it says it can’t be done, or you‘ll never finish, or no one wants to read your book.

Nicole almost died listening to her twisted muse, the VOICE inside her head that told her she was fat; told her she was worthless, and told her she deserved to die. So as a writer, surround yourself with loving, supportive people who believe in you. If you belong to a critique group, think carefully before you employ all of their advice. Sift through their criticism, their ideas, and keep what you believe in, what comes from your heart. Remember this is your story, not theirs.

Anorexia Nervosa remained a part of our lives for eight years. It is an insidious disease and it nearly took our daughter's life. I think that’s why I write primarily memoir. It’s a way of sharing what’s close to my heart: memoires, experiences, and lessons learned. I believe this is a valuable thing to do, especially when others, including yourself, are helped in the process.

Colors and Textures of Nature

I didn't realize the extent to which colors and textures affect my moods; specifically the colors and textures of nature. When we re-decorated our family room recently, we chose neutral colors for the tile floor, area rug, and furniture: taupe, brown, and olive green, like the earth. Then I added reds, gold, and hints of orange to accent with pillows, pictures, and other pieces. Looking at the room, I see the colors of autumn, my favorite season of the year. Now I spend more time there, reading, studying, watching t.v., and spending time with family.

Whenever possible, I introduce some facet of nature into our home with pictures and prints of birds, flowers, and outside scenes. Since childhood, I have drawn energy and a sense of peace from God's beautiful world. Our father took my brother and me to the beach, and we camped in the Columbia Gorge, the Oregon Cascades, and Crater and Diamond Lake areas. Those happy times and memories remain with me to this day.

My husband and I just returned from Central Oregon: the land of ponderosa pine, mountains, and lakes. Of course it's winter and the colors are muted, the landscape is softened, and quieted with a blanket of snow. I loved every moment of our vacation as I soaked in the tranquility for six days. Bringing this feeling home, with a cup of tea beside me and a warmed spirit inside, I'll spend the next days recording my feelings in poetry and prose.

Inspiration, Perspiration, Determination

A writer looks for inspiration, but often inspiration finds the writer. That's what happened to me three weeks ago. Real INSPIRATION hit me when I least expected it.

I had just resumed editing my novel that was started a good while ago, but I set it aside when new thoughts came, most unexpectedly. They came so quickly that I stayed up late; I wrote in the middle of the night, early morning, whenever I walked by my computer. A real-life experience, one that isn't pleasant, cried to be heard. The interesting thing is that this painful subject makes it possible for me to tell another story too - a story that I had promised to tell, but one I wasn't ready for. The second story is a story of unconditional love, loss, healing, and redemption. The two are intertwined.

I'm only on chapter four, but if things progress as they have so far, I hope to complete my new memoir in a few months. I'm thankful for inspiration, for the gift of words, and the mysterious way it all works together.

Potter-Mania

My daughter and I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part Two last weekend and thought it was a fitting and beautifully told conclusion to a book series that may have changed the course of juvenile reading habits forever. Throughout my lifetime, I have always been in love with the written word. My tastes are eclectic; I tend to read suspense, the classics and memoir. But I was drawn to the Potter series shortly after its publication.

Harry has taught us many lessons, I believe. When faced with loss of family, an unhappy home life, challenging surrounds which are fraught with danger, and the ultimate forces of evil, he drew upon the friendship and loyalty of good friends and the love and support, albeit from another realm, of his parents.

From my perspective, I believe if one lives long enough, tough times and even powerful adversaries will cross our path. Presently, our family is dealing with the darker side of human nature and are experiencing first hand how selfish and dishonest people can turn your life upside down.

As I watched Harry and his comrades face the ultimate force of evil, I admired how they handled adversity and even the injury and death of friends and loved ones. They were uncertain and fearful, but willing to jump in and DO something.

Was Harry naive? Perhaps at times, but I like to think that beyond his disarming crooked grin, lay a strong individual who could face seemingly impossible challenges and come out a winner.

So, as our family deals with a negative presence that has temporarily disrupted our lives, I take heart in our fictional Harry, who has entertained and inspired so many people for so many years. Thank you, Ms. Rowling and happy reading to her millions of fans.